If you’re not sure what to expect from coaching, you’re in good company: Most physicians aren’t very familiar with what coaching is and how transformative it can be. If you’re looking to rediscover fulfillment in your career and life, coaching can help you get there.
As with anything, it’s important to know what you’re getting into before you take the leap. To get the most from coaching, you need to be all in — here’s what that looks like.
Commit to making time for coaching
The progress you’ll make in coaching depends entirely on what you put into it.
While each session is about an hour or so, I recommend blocking off time before to clear your mind and after for reflection. Quite often, the work we do in coaching sessions stirs up strong feelings, and you need some time to process that before diving back into work.
For this same reason, I don’t like to schedule coaching sessions when you’re on call. Uninterrupted time is essential for focused discussion and reflection, so it’s better to move our session to a time that is completely devoted to you.
Leave your assumptions at the door
Coming into coaching with an open mind, where nothing is off limits, is the key to success. You may be looking to coaching to help you reach a specific goal only to find yourself striving for something else entirely that is better aligned with your values and interests.
I had a client who came into coaching with assumptions about what they should do next based on a vertical career trajectory. But they were open to possibilities, and it turned out the coachee’s values were better aligned with a very different type of role.
As we worked through some negative self-talk about their skills, the client began to see that they had the skill set needed to do the job. Their career has gone in a completely unexpected direction — and they’re much happier!
Be open to limitless possibilities and growth
Many physicians come to coaching because they want to grow and find a renewed excitement in their work. Some discover a new career path within medicine, while others explore new passions in creative endeavours.
If I sense a coachee is missing the excitement for growth, we’ll do an exercise that helps them think about goal-setting and their future self. I’ll ask: When you let yourself dream, what are you doing? Who are you? How do you hold yourself? How do you relate to people?
This often prompts a very animated discussion, and I’ll encourage the coachee to explore this possibility further, even if it seems impossible today. In some cases, it’s completely outside the field of medicine — like owning a vineyard in France, or writing their first book.
Coaching helps break down self-imposed barriers so we can live our dreams. I once thought I could only be a gastroenterologist. But in talking with my first coach, I realized anyone could train to be a coach if they have the desire, ability and passion for it. Now, coaching is the thing I most look forward to in my week.
Be self-reflective
A big part of coaching is challenging your preconceived beliefs about who you are, what you need to do next and what skills you have, and self-reflection is a big part of the process.
I do a lot of mirroring in sessions, and there can be some resistance when I say I’m hearing something a bit negative — shying away from leadership, for example. But when I repeat what they initially said, it will often get them thinking more deeply.
I also encourage journaling for all my clients. This is targeted work that often involves dissecting a thought or situation that has triggered a strong reaction. For example, I’ve asked clients to think about a conversation that left them feeling deflated and write out the elements of the conversation in detail to help pinpoint what upset them. When it comes to thoughts or beliefs, I’ll ask them to list the evidence that supports this (spoiler: there often isn’t any).
Be comfortable with discomfort
One of my favourite quotes comes from former Miami Dolphins head coach Don Shula: “The start is what stops most people.” As humans, we tend to avoid the discomfort that is inevitable when we try new things — but all that does is stop us from growing.
As you progress through the coaching program and I challenge your beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and behaviours, you will have to push through times of discomfort. Some coachees even discover that they’re not as comfortable with change as they thought they were.
However, if a particular avenue is very uncomfortable for you, I won’t press the issue. We’ll agree to set aside that line of thought and proceed with the things you’re ready to tackle.
Be prepared to be held accountable
Working with a coach is very different from getting support from a partner or friend. Generally, people who are close to you don’t want to challenge you or make you feel self-conscious, so they’ll be less likely to hold you accountable when you’re trying to reach goals.
When you begin working with a coach, you’re signaling you’re ready for change. My job is to make sure there are no stumbling blocks in your way — and that includes procrastination, delays or hesitations.
When we discuss taking steps to help move you toward your goal, I’m going to check in to see if you’ve followed through. For example, one of my clients was very interested in a leadership role in medicine, but they wanted to get their ducks in a row before requesting the application form. So a few days later, I emailed the coachee to ask if they’d taken that step to email the admin. They hadn’t, so my check-in served as a nudge.
Be ready to have your beliefs, thoughts, behaviours and attitudes challenged
My job as your coach is to encourage you to consider whether your beliefs, thoughts, behaviours and attitudes will serve you, now and 10 years down the line.
This aspect of coaching can be very unsettling. Our beliefs and attitudes are generally shaped by family, community and, for some people, religion. When someone is challenging that, however sensitively, it can feel very disrespectful.
Your mindset may have served you well throughout your childhood, youth and even as you moved into adulthood and began your career. But your beliefs, thoughts, behaviours and attitudes may need to change in order for you to make big changes in your career and life.
Understand your coach doesn’t have the answers — you do
When most people begin coaching, they can’t see the forest for the trees. As a coach, I have the 10,000-foot view, and my job is to guide you to the answers you already have but can’t see at the moment.
As we work together, I’m going to probe and uncover things from the many layers of your life — the way you think and behave, your expectations and beliefs — to help you discover what you really want and what you need to do to get it.
This process can reveal recurring behaviours and situations that are getting in the way of your progress. As we discuss further, I’ll focus on how you react and how you’re affected, so I can give you tools to change the course of what’s occurring.
My objective, judgment-free perspective means your choices are yours. I won’t push you in a particular direction because I have no reason to. (This is why it’s so important to be coached by someone who isn’t a friend, mentor or connected to your employer.) But I will always shine a spotlight on the opportunities, interests and details that clearly excite you, because they’re often connected to where you end up going.
Ultimately, making the most of your coaching experience depends entirely on how you show up and your willingness to be open to exploring possibilities. It can be life-changing — if you let it.